Joke of the day.

[superiorcruiser]

A blind man goes for a job in a wood yard saying he could identify any wood by its smell.
They tested him on different types and he guessed right every time.
To catch him out,the secretary stripped her clothes off and lay on the floor with her legs spread wide.
He sniffed and he wasnt sure so he asked for the wood to be turned over.
He sniffed again and said...ya cant fool me..its an old shit house door off a fishing boat..

 

[Tiburn]

A blind man goes for a job in a wood yard saying he could identify any wood by its smell.
They tested him on different types and he guessed right every time.
To catch him out,the secretary stripped her clothes off and lay on the floor with her legs spread wide.
He sniffed and he wasnt sure so he asked for the wood to be turned over.
He sniffed again and said...ya cant fool me..its an old shit house door off a fishing boat..

lol I like that one

 

[scottybobcat]

Just heard that its deffinate that Osama bin ladens death will never be shown on TV
It has been tele banned

 

[Scubamurph]

Just heard that its deffinate that Osama bin ladens death will never be shown on TV
It has been tele banned

That's just awful

 

[superiorcruiser]

A range of Muslim books are now available..titles include.
finding a job.....by Oyeah Asif
cooking curry....by Ahmed Astink
easy DIY.....by Mahroof Isfukd
inbreeding.....by Shahag Misistah
killing Muslims....by Shahoot Dhakunt

 

[RLI]

What's the difference between an Arabic women and a Sardine (small fish)?

One is oily,stinks and has bulging f---king eyes, the other is a fish!

What do you say to an Arabic women with to black eyes? Nothing, you have already told her twice!

F--ck 4x4 action forum!

Regards,

RLI

 

[Dave]

I think we should make these the last of the Muslim jokes for a while.

I have no idea on peoples backgrounds on the forum, so gotta keep everyone happy.

 

[RLI]

I think we should make these the last of the Muslim jokes for a while.

I have no idea on peoples backgrounds on the forum, so gotta keep everyone happy.

What's the difference between a Hunter Valley women and a Sardine (small fish)?

One is oily,stinks and has bulging f---king eyes, the other is a fish!

What do you say to an Hunter Valley women with to black eyes? Nothing, you have already told her twice!

Is that better?

Regards,

RLI

 

[sugammadex]

Yes it is

 

[heata]

Just to keep it balanced for you Dave,
Special Bulletin from the Pentagon

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Pentagon announced today the formation of a new 500-man elite fighting unit called the "United States Redneck Special Forces".

These Alabama, Arkansas, Georgia, Kentucky, Mississippi, Missouri, Oklahoma, Tennessee and Texas boys will be dropped off into Iraq and have been given only the following facts about terrorists:

1. The season opened today.
2. There is no limit.
3. They taste just like chicken.
4. They don't like beer, pickups, country music, or Jesus.
5. They are DIRECTLY RESPONSIBLE for the death of Dale Earnhardt.

We expect the problem in Iraq to be over by Friday.

 

[terryc]

Is that better?

RLI

NO, because it is promoting violence against women.

I under stand that this is a general forum for Navara owners, not women hating blokes with Navara's.

Iron Woman is one thing, but black eye is too far.

 

[RLI]

NO, because it is promoting violence against women.

I under stand that this is a general forum for Navara owners, not women hating blokes with Navara's.

Iron Woman is one thing, but black eye is too far.

My apologies, I did not mean to offend anybody. I note some fairly heavy joke material as been used on this thread, I hate hypocrisy.

Go Queensland!

Regards,

RLI

 

[scottybobcat]

Come on guys they are jokes and should be taken that way.Do you think Abo's,kiwis,poofs poms,middle eastern people dont have the same jokes about us.

 

[RLI]

Come on guys they are jokes and should be taken that way.Do you think Abo's,kiwis,poofs poms,middle eastern people dont have the same jokes about us.

Here, here i agree!

For the record. I do not condone any violence towards women. I do take offence of being labeled as suggested by Terryc “a women hating blokes with Navara’s”

I have copped shit all of my life for being English/Irish. I was born in Ireland in 1961. My mum was English and dad was Irish, at 12months of age we moved to England. The English kids stirred the crap out of me for being Irish. (I had an English accent)

In 1965 we moved to Australia. The Australian kids stirred the crap out of me for being English! (Well I did have an English accent)

I fought in the Rhodesian war in 1979/1980 and the Rhodesians stirred the crap of me for being Australian. (Well I did have an Aussie accent)

I joined the Australian army in 1980 and all my mates’ stirred the crap out of me for being a mongrel! I could not win!

I have learned over the years that if you cannot laugh at yourself or your culture, then do not take the piss out of others.

It’s healthy to have a good laugh!

As previously stated, I did not mean to offend anybody the jokes I posted were told to me by another party.

Regards,

RLI

 

[superiorcruiser]

dont stress RLI...
as stated here these are jokes and if anyone cant laugh at themselves they can go and get .......
some people are so freakn straight and propper they forget to have a laugh...
joe

 

[Dave]

I am all for jokes.

I forward heaps of texts etc.

However we do have international members.

We do have aboriginal members who I have to keep happy. I dont blame them from getting annoyed.

Some jokes are best left for texts.

How do you know Dylan isn't a Muslim or aboriginal etc ? (For those that dont know, Dylan is the owner of the site)

Being a mod, you have to keep everyone happy.

I am not trying to ruin the fun, I am not on a power trip.

All I am asking is that only jokes that are funny are posted up, not jokes that are likely to offend.

 

[superiorcruiser]

and what if he is dave?
he should be able to take a joke,,,,right?
as scotty said...poms,italians greeks etc...they all take a joke so why not muslims?
australia is fukn worried about muslims,they let it rule their lives....
if they dont like it,,get on the next plane out of here...

 

[scottybobcat]

I have to agree with Joe.We joke about them and they want to blow us up.What sort of shit is that.I take people for who they are black white catholic muslim I dont give a shit,if they respect me I respect them back,if they dont thats there problam and dont talk to me.
Like my sig says what you see is what you get.We have let all types of people into this country and same goes if they respect the best place in the world to live great,if they dont they can fuck off. Now back on topic of jokes

 

[bullwinkle]

At the 2006 census, 1.7% of the population identified as muslim. Won't be many here, I'd suggest. Too busy driving their doof doof dunnydores on 22's.

 

[RLI]

The Monkey & The Cue Ball

A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he's drinking, the monkey jumps all around the place. The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them.

Then he grabs some sliced limes and eats them. He then jumps onto the pool table and grabs one of the billiard balls. To everyone's amazement, he sticks it in his mouth, and somehow swallows it whole.

The bartender screams at the guy, "Did you see what your monkey just did?" "No, what did he do?" "He just ate the cue ball off my pool table... whole!"

"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy, "He eats everything in sight. Sorry! I'll pay for the cue ball and stuff."

The guy finishes his drink, pays his bill, pays for the stuff the monkey ate and leaves.

Two weeks later the guy is in the bar again, and has his monkey with him. He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again.

While the man is finishing his drink, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar.. He grabs it, sticks it up his ass, pulls it out, and eats it. Then the monkey finds a peanut, and again sticks it up his ass, pulls it out, and eats it.

The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey did now?" No, what?" replied the man.

"Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry and a peanut up his ass, pulled them out, and ate them!" said the bartender.

"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy. "He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he had to shit that cue ball, he measures everything first."

I hope this meets with approval!

Regards,

RLI