If anybody needs help!!!!

[75 GRC]

Sorry to put a dampener on the New Year for everybody.
But can we please look out for Family and mates, as I lost one 2 days ago to suicide, and at the end of the day he had made his decision, but it is all people he leaves behind, including his kids and wife, that really confuses me. How could somebody get to that place, and make the decision to end their life. My mate was only 34 years old. He had his whole life ahead of him. And he had a promising career in the company which we both worked for. This time of year always makes some people feel quite depressed and lonely. So can we please look out for our mates and loved ones. My mate showed no signs of depression whatsoever.
And I think that is the hardest thing for me to deal with, if he'd only told somebody, this would not have ended so tragically, I have actually looked up the statistics for suicide, and you would not believe, that every 6 Minutes we lose a person off this planet, TOO SUICIDE. Now that is some strong statistics. So please guy's watch out for your family and friends. Because this is gutwrenching what I am going through right now!!. As I will never have a chance to say goodbye to him in person, and tell him what a good mate he was. AND LIFE IS WORTH LIVING FOR!!!!!!.

My mobile number is 0433575926
If anybody out there needs to talk!!!
(Day or night)
take care everybody.
look out for those who are dear to you!!


James R.I.P mate!!!

Cheers
Geoff

'I LIKE TO CUSTOMISE,'WHAT MORE CAN I SAY'

 

[Old.Tony]

I think part of the problem is our culture. "Harden the fcuk up!", "Man up!" etc - grow some hairy ones etc.

Makes it harder to approach someone when the very reason for your depression is the fact that you can't turn to anybody without fearing one of these things being said to you.

It's also difficult to involve other people in your issues without looking like a drama queen (yes, another cliche, but you get the point). I don't want to be socially isolated by people who think I'm just around to have a whine, so I'm not going to say a word.

Sooner or later it boils. Some of us handle it better than others and some decide it's time to get off.

Changing the culture that inhibits us from seeking help is probably the hardest task of all. None of us want to appear as "girly men".

 

[75 GRC]

Very true but there is nothing wrong with saying I need help!!! I can't handle the situation I'm in.
THAT'S ALL I'M SAYING!!!

'I LIKE TO CUSTOMISE,'WHAT MORE CAN I SAY'

 

[Old.Tony]

I agree with you 100%. I wish things were different too.

It is a pity that it has to reach that point - it never should. Creating organisations like BeyondBlue is a start, but the underlying culture also has to change so that it's acceptable to have a problem and need help.

 

[75 GRC]

You are dead right there Old tony!!
The culture must change, but people need to change to. Yes we are male but there is nothing wrong with us putting hand up if we're in a situation we cannot handle, as that's where I felt my mate was. To take some pills and go to sleep but to hang yourself NOW THAT TAKES SOME BALLS. And it is the people we leave behind that hurt The most. That is the hard part for me to deal with. If you understand what I mean.

'I LIKE TO CUSTOMISE,'WHAT MORE CAN I SAY'

 

[navaranewb]

sorry for your loss mate.

I agree a 100% with everyone on here tho its very hard in this day and age to be able to talk to people but if anyone does then feel free to contact me! im always happy to listen or go for a beer and have a chat!

ive had a few mates only recently take a big turn for the worst and have been there 100% and they are all still here! If u see them down then ask! they mate be all they need

 

[amber.2]

A person who commits suicide must really think there is no other way,if only they would talk to some one about the problem they just might see its not as bad as they thought it was .There is always a way ,ring a counseling service The Black Dog is one .
My nephew gassed himself ,He had continuing hick ups had 3 operations but it always ended the same ,no relief ,
One day he got up cleaned out his fish tank ,vacuumed the house , washed the dishes and went and sat in his car with the engine running with a hose through the back window , he reclined the front seat and went to sleep,, He could see no end to his predicament and just decided enough was enough ,
So if you know some one who is always depressed , just ask them if they want to talk about any think , all they might need is a shoulder to lean on .

 

[happy john]

Very sad to hear Geoff i have been down that road twice the 2nd time he jumped out in front of a train this time of year is as you say a very lonely time and as you said there was no warning or signs depression is a very sad and dangerous illness that needs urgent medical help people can just snap a watched a mate same age as me go through the dt's from alcohol withdrawal it was like the worst horror film you have seen as almost took his life.Chin up mate whilst it is so hard and you keep asking "why" with time it will get better.
Take care
John

 

[75 GRC]

Thanks very much happy John!!

'I LIKE TO CUSTOMISE,'WHAT MORE CAN I SAY'

 

[fourocker]

So sad and I feel for all the people suffering the loss including yourself, I believe as men we are far more sensitive than people and the media make out in general, we should be able to be without fear but as Tony said it's not portrayed that way.
My daughter's friends father killed himself years ago, it devastated everyone that knew him and them, we opened our home to her if she ever needed somewhere else to just be, away from the situation and memories, she's ok now but still doesn't understand why and it has changed her, all we've been able to understand is he reached a point where he couldn't find any sense of purpose in anything he did even things he enjoyed.
Time heals as they say and it's true to some degree, you won't be able to make sense of it all because everyone s mind works differently, so don't try to reason it all, just accept it otherwise you'll do your own head in and no one wants or needs that.

 

[nao]

my sons best mate jumped out of the car he was driving committing suicide nine months ago and he is suffering for it ...

problem is that while we all say, ask for help, people suffering depression don't feel they can or need to.

since the suicide my son is now aggressive, lazy, totally apathetic about anything to the point his girlfriend has left him and he is now dragging the family unit down - his life is falling apart. he refuses to talk about the event to anyone (family, friends, the police & coroner) we have arranged counsellors and he stands them up, we have tried to get him interested in life without response, we have tried lots of things including love and empathy, we have tried pushing him, we have tried getting him involved in dirt bike riding/4wding/camping (which we know he loves). I have spoken to several counsellors who have suggested we are trying all the right things - the one problem though - he thinks he doesn't need help and without his engagement, no-one is allowed to help him - either his family, friends or professionals… I understand he is suffering depression (which also runs in the family on mums side). while I 100% support peoples comments on offering help - the issue is unfortunately a lot more complex.

 

[navaranewb]

we understand thats its more complex but the point is being there just incase. You may or may not help but if people know thats 1 step closer. I lost a mate at the age of 15. I know what its like. Certainly not easy but stand by him and things will hopefully change.

some people also just need space and maybe thats what your son needs?? maybe get his ex gf to chat to him? as a friend? things like this will help in the long run

 

[75 GRC]

I'm very happy that people are getting involved in this thread, and being open and honest. This is one Way of me dealing with my loss. And it is great to see the support on here!!!!.


Thanks guysdde04


'I LIKE TO CUSTOMISE,'WHAT MORE CAN I SAY'

 

[nao]

people cope in different ways 75. likewise if you struggle with whats happened either now or down the track I'm happy to have a chat, just pm me..

 

[75 GRC]

Thanks NAO...means a lot in these hard times!
And my offer Is still out there too. Just love the support in this thread.
It's great lads

'I LIKE TO CUSTOMISE,'WHAT MORE CAN I SAY'

 

[75 GRC]

A very special thank you too
''Happy John''
For your messages on my mobile, and your kind offer for a chat, its people like Happy John, that makes this forum a pleasure to be a part of.
Thanks john for your support again!!

hope this year will be better for everybody!

'I LIKE TO CUSTOMISE,'WHAT MORE CAN I SAY'

 

[gunning1987]

Never had a situation like this, and hope not to go through anything like this but a company I recently had worked for made it mandatory that every worker had to sit a session called "mates in construction" and was all about these issues and showed what can be done about it.

If I ever become a employer I'd make very employee have a seat in a class and listen to the horror stories that can happen when working away from their loved ones.

 

[Bong]

Sad to see anyone get so down that they think it is the only way out. Then there are others like me that have just been given the bad news by the Doc saying I have an incurable disease, so I am getting the Nav set up to get out there and do what I can while I can. If you can help anyone in your mates frame of mind it would be a great accomplishment for anyone.

 

[75 GRC]

Very sorry to hear about your diagnosis bong Yes that's what I'm trying to do if I can help one person, and stop them from doing this I would've achieved what I wanted to starting this thread for 'HELP' Help is here for anybody that needs it

Cheers Geoff
0433575926
Day or night


'I LIKE TO CUSTOMISE,'WHAT MORE CAN I SAY'

 

[happy john]

A very special thank you too
''Happy John''
For your messages on my mobile, and your kind offer for a chat, its people like Happy John, that makes this forum a pleasure to be a part of.
Thanks john for your support again!!

hope this year will be better for everybody!

'I LIKE TO CUSTOMISE,'WHAT MORE CAN I SAY'

Your more than welcome Geoff thanks for that mate i will catch up with you and bryan sometime take care.